How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
