I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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