Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
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I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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