the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
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he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
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The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How naked do you want me to be?
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