the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
