dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
