SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
