wrigley field is MILF paradise
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision