you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever