puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?