All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Still dying that you shit outside
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
not ubering you a puppy
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
