I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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