some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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