"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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