girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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