no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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