i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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