I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I have so many feelings about this burrito
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
