gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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