About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
