At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
