Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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