Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
