I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
