Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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