thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Randomize
