I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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