hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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