Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
