with your own penis?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
