Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
