Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
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and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
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Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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