How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
the day after is always just damage control
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
