It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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