their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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