Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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