before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
