it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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