dude i'm inner monologue high
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
