She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
