found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Randomize
