I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
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Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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