What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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