i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Randomize