dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
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