she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
