Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
