Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
