He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
