laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
