When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
