Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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