Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
