Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
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And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
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Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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