The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
