I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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