at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
