Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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