Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
