it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
